(This is a transcript of Doctor Who Series 7 Episode 7 : The Bells of Saint John. I thank Tardisblue.net for hosting streams of this episode, and hope fellow Whovians find this transcript useful.)
(We see a dark globe. Points of light mark cities, threads of light connect them, even across oceans.
Our view shifts: we then see someone's fingers typing on a keyboard, then a computer screen, as someone mouses over the wi-fi button. We flit around the globe, watching people connect to wi-fi.
We then see a MAN holding a sign, which reads “DANGER”, and speaking to the camera.)
MAN:
Danger.
(We see more people connecting to the internet, even via phones, then we see the MAN again, as if through a webcam.)
MAN:
This is a warning...
(The MAN holds up a new sign, which reads “WARNING”)
MAN:
...a warning to the whole world.
(We see people connecting to the internet even in moving trains.)
MAN:
You're looking for wi-fi,
and sometimes you see something. Bit like this.
(He holds up a sign with blocky writing, which looks vaguely like 7 Γ U = /Δ M .
On other screens, we see similar writing, / [ ] V [ X , \\ ][ V X .)
MAN:
Don't click it! Do not click it!
(We see people clicking to log into the blocky particular wi-fi network.)
MAN:
Once you've clicked it,
they're in your computer.
They can see you. If they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do, you die.
(Around the world, we see the people who had clicked on the blocky wi-fi network collapse, lifeless.)
MAN:
In 24 hours, you're dead... for a while.
People's souls are being uploaded to the internet, [and] some people get stuck. Their minds, their souls, trapped, in the wi-fi...
(We see a Japanese person look up as, in the background, a voice says “I don't know where I am.”)
MAN:
...like echoes, or ghosts... sometimes, you can hear their screams. On the radio, on the telly, on the net...
This is real. This is not a hoax...
(Somewhere along a corniche, a vlogger says “I don't know where I am”.)
MAN:
... or a joke, or a story.
(More people cry out.)
MAN:
This is real, and I know that.... because... (he is emotional) I don't know where I am.
Please... please, if... if you can hear me... if you can hear me, I don't know where I am...
(The camera pans out, and he is seen to have been viewed on a small screen, in a bank of small screens.)
(The lava-lamp intro plays, introducing Matt, Jenna, and the title of the episode: The Bells of Saint John.)
(We see a quiet inlet, with “Cumbria 1207” floating in the waves to identify it. A monk is pounding upon huge wooden doors. After a moment, someone opens a small viewing-latch in the bottom of the door, from inside.)
MONK:
Wake the abbot! The bells of Saint John are ringing!
(The man closes the latch on the camera.
Our perspective shifts, and we see the monk standing in a courtyard a bit later. Other monks stand by him, and then two other monks come up behind him.)
OLD MONK (ABBOT):
We must go to him.
(The monks make their way down a stone corridor.)
MONK:
They call him the Mad Monk, don't they?
ABBOT:
They shouldn't... he's definitely not a monk.
(Entering the room, the abbot clears his throat to rouse a hooded figure, who has nodded off in a chair.)
ABBOT:
I'm sorry to intrude. The bells of Saint John are ringing.
(The hooded figure removes his hood: he is the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR:
I'm going to need a horse.
The DOCTOR leaves the room. The younger MONK steps forward to admire, in the candlelight, a portrait of CLARA which has been on an easel behind the DOCTOR's chair. In the bottom right corner are the words “run you clever boy, and remember”.)
MONK (to ABBOT):
Is that her?
ABBOT:
The woman twice dead... and her final message.
He has withdrawn to this place of peace and solitude, that he might divine her meaning.
If he truly is mad, then this is his madness.
[cut]
(In a modern house, a woman—CLARA—has a phone to her ear.)
CLARA (to someone offscreen):
Angie! Is the internet working? I'm trying to find the help line, or an answer.
ANGIE:
It's working for me.
CLARA:
Can I use it when you're finished?
ANGIE:
More than one person can use the internet at a time, Clara.
CLARA:
You [done/doing] your homework?
ANGIE:
Shut up, you're not my mum.
CLARA:
And I'm not trying to be. (CLARA sees to it that they share a look of understanding.) Okay?
FATHER (walking into the room):
Right.
(The family's SON walks into the room and hands the father his car keys.)
FATHER:
Yes.
(to CLARA) Angie's probably fine on her own. You [can] probably have the night off.
CLARA:
I'm okay. I'll be upstairs trying to figure out my computer.
FATHER:
Anyway, the adverts are in, so hopefully, we'll find someone.
CLARA:
I'm here. As long as you need me.
FATHER:
Good.
(leaving) Right. Come on, Artie. Time to go.
(CLARA grabs the book ARTIE has been holding and distractedly looking at the cover of: Summer Falls by Amelia Williams. On the cover, a woman in a white dress looks at the viewer; two boys in shirts and pants stand by a river behind her.)
CLARA:
What chapter are you on?
ARTIE:
Ten.
CLARA (letting out a little excited gasp):
Eleven's the best. You'll cry your eyes out.
FATHER (offscreen):
Artie!
(ARTIE leaves. CLARA looks at the phone exasperated.)
CLARA (on the phone, getting no answer):
Ah, come on!
Just answer! Just... pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick... it... up...
(CLARA leaves the kitchen and heads upstairs, sits at her small desk, on which there is a giraffe and a small laptop, and taps the wi-fi key. Two networks appear available: Maitland_Family and ][ /Δ [-] M . The camera zooms into the two networks, and then out, revealing the street, the neighbourhood, then the entire city as a network of tendrillar blue internet connections. Some spots are turning red, as if infected.)
[cut]
(The camera looks up from ground level as a phone can be heard ringing amid woodland noises. We are in the forest; the DOCTOR is dismounting a horse. The MONK and ABBOT, having already dismounted their houses, start to tie the animals up while the DOCTOR walks towards the source of the noise: a stone entranceway, which resembles the entrance to Wayland's Smithy and leads into a barrow. Taking a torch, the trio enter the passageway.
Rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs into the barrow, they look upon the TARDIS, its windows and top-light shining, illuminating the cramped space. The phone rings are coming from within TARDIS.)
DOCTOR:
That is not supposed to happen.
(As the DOCTOR scurries towards the TARDIS, the camera focuses on the St John Ambulance roundel on its right-hand (port) door. When he reaches it, the DOCTOR pulls a little handle by the "pull to open" instructions page on the left-hand door, which opens the cupboard which houses the TARDIS' exterior telephone.
The DOCTOR gestures at it, to the monks, like a child excited to see something. Cautiously, he picks up.)
DOCTOR:
... hello?
[cut]
(CLARA had been nodding off, but pops awake.)
CLARA:
Ah! Hello!
I can't find the internet.
DOCTOR:
Sorry?
CLARA:
It's gone. The internet. I can't find it anywhere. Where is it?
DOCTOR:
The internet?
CLARA:
Yes, the internet. Why don't I have the internet?
DOCTOR:
It's 1207. (He pronounces it twelve-oh-seven.)
CLARA:
I've got half past three. (She bolts upright at the thought.) Am I phoning a different time zone?
DOCTOR:
Yeah, you really sort of are.
CLARA:
Will that show up on the bill?
DOCTOR:
Ooh, I'd hate to think.
Listen, where did you get this number?
CLARA:
Woman in the shop wrote it down. It's a help line, isn't it?
She said it's the best help line out there, in the universe, she said.
DOCTOR:
What woman?
Who was she?
CLARA:
Mm, I dunno. The woman in the shop.
So, why isn't there internet? Shouldn't it just sort of... be there?
DOCTOR:
Look... listen... I'm not actually... this isn't...
(deciding to help) You have clicked on the wi-fi button, haven't ya?
CLARA (biting her lip and looking for the button):
Hang on. Um...
(talking to herself) Wi-fi...
DOCTOR:
Click on the wi-fi, you'll see a list of names, [you] see one you recognise...
CLARA:
It's asking me for a password...
(At this moment, ANGIE walks by.)
ANGIE:
Is it OK if I go and see Nina? You can call her mum.
CLARA:
Sure! Um, what's the password for the internet?
ANGIE (walking back downstairs):
rycbar123.
CLARA (getting up and running after her):
How am I supposed to remember that?!
(ANGIE looks exasperated.
Back in the burrow, the MONK looks to the DOCTOR.)
MONK:
Is it an evil spirit?
DOCTOR:
It's a woman.
(The MONK crosses himself.
In the modern era, CLARA is seated by her computer again.)
CLARA:
Hang on. Just a mo.
(as she types in the password, she speaks a mneumonic ANGIE must have taught her) Run you clever boy and remember. One... two...
(The DOCTOR has flashbacks of Oswin saying “run you clever boy” in the asylum, and of Clara saying “and remember” as she lay dying in London.)
(Just as CLARA reaches “three”, and DOCTOR blurts “what did you say?!”, so startling CLARA that she types 4 rather than 3.)
CLARA (pulling the phone away from her ear with a gasp):
Don't shout!
(CLARA notices that the computer has rejected the incorrect password with an error message.)
CLARA:
Now you made me type it wrong, it's throwing me out again! What do I do? How do I get back in?
(CLARA pulls up the list of available networks again, but this time clicks on the blocky-fonted network.
On the map of tendrillar internet connections, we see a signal race from somewhere in central London to what must be CLARA's house.
Next, CLARA is to be seen, as if through her webcam, on a small screen in the same bank of screens the man was in earlier, or another like it.)
CLARA:
It's just a, erm...erm, erm... thing... to remember the password: run you clever boy and remember.
(looking offscreen) Hm, hang out...
(CLARA gets up and walks downstairs. Someone is banging on her door and ringing the doorbell at the same time.)
CLARA:
Hello! Yes! I hear you! Yep! Uh-huh!
(CLARA reaches the bottom of the stairs and opens the door to the DOCTOR.)
CLARA (opening the door):
Hello?
DOCTOR:
Clara. Clara Oswald.
CLARA:
Hello.
DOCTOR:
Clara Oswin Oswald.
CLARA:
Just Clara Oswald. What was that middle one?
DOCTOR:
Do you remember me?
CLARA:
No. Should I? Who are you?
DOCTOR:
The Doctor.
(CLARA does not recognise the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR:
No?
The Doctor?
CLARA:
Doctor who?
DOCTOR:
No, just the Doctor.
Actually, sorry, could you say all that again?
CLARA:
Could I what?
DOCTOR:
Could you just ask me that question again?
CLARA:
Doctor who?
DOCTOR:
Okay, just once more.
CLARA: Doctor who?
DOCTOR:
Oohh, yeah. Oohh.
Do you know, I never realised how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud.
Thank you.
CLARA (shutting the door on him):
O-kay.
(And shuts the door on him.)
DOCTOR:
Hey! No, Clara, please! Clara, I need to talk to you! Listen! Please!
This transcript is incomplete; I will complete it (and update it as a I do) over the next few days.
Keywords: S7E7 S7E07 7.7 7x7 7.07 7x07. Doctor Who Series 7 Episode 7 transcript. (Or, by the oddly-reset count some BBC pages use: S7E1 S7E01 7.1 7x1 7.01 7x01. Doctor Who Series 7 Episode 1 transcript.) The Bells of Saint John transcript, The Bells of Saint John script, The Bells of Saint John closed captioning, The Bells of St John transcript, The Bells of St John script, The Bells of St John closed captioning, quotations, dialogue, Doctor Who transcript. Eleventh Doctor, Clara Oswin Oswald, Clara Oswald, Oswin, The Intelligence, The Great Intelligence; Matt Smith, Jenna-Louise Coleman, Ian McKellen. Steven Moffat.
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