(This is a complete transcript of Doctor Who Series 7 Episode 6 : The Snowmen. I thank Tardisblue.net for hosting streams of this episode. Happy Holidays! I hope fellow Whovians find the transcript useful.)
(Snow is falling to earth from far higher than any clouds float, from space. As it falls, a few of the snowflakes float close to the camera and gnash their teeth at it.)
[cut]
(We see the large, snow-covered yard with a single tree in the center. Overlaid on the snow, on our screens, is the date “England 1842”. A matronly WOMAN addresses a young BOY, who is building a SNOWMAN.)
WOMAN:
Walter, don't you want to go and play with the other boys and girls?
They're very nice.
WALTER:
I don't need anyone else.
WOMAN (to the awkwardly staid MAN who has come out of the building and over to her):
He never talks to anyone!
He's so alone!
It's not right!
It's not healthy!
(The WOMAN and MAN go back inside.)
WALTER (to the SNOWMAN):
I don't want to talk to them.
They're silly.
VOICE:
They're silly.
(WALTER looks around, but no-one is nearby.)
VOICE (coming from the SNOWMAN):
Don't talk to them. They're silly.
(WALTER runs away from the SNOWMAN, but pauses when it speaks to him again):
SNOWMAN:
Don't need anyone else...
(WALTER cautiously re-approaches the SNOWMAN.)
SNOWMAN:
I can help you.
WALTER:
How?
(WALTER'S childish face fades into the stern face of an OLD MAN in a tophat, standing somewhere dim. Over the screen, we see the words “50 Years Later”.
Various figures are working on snowmen, either collecting snow from them or adding snow to it, into or from glass jars.)
[cut]
(Seen through a grate monogrammed GI, a carriage draws up to a mansion.)
[cut] (Inside the mansion, an OLD MAN approaches a large GLOBE around which electricity crackles.)
OLD MAN:
The last of the arrivals has been sampled.
(A VOICE resounds, apparently from the GLOBE.)
GLOBE:
A great swarm is approaching: as humanity celebrates, so shall it end.
(to the OLD MAN:) Will the final piece be ready?
(The OLD MAN is putting snow from a jar into the GLOBE.)
OLD MAN (snarling, almost reproachful):
It's in hand.
I serve you in this, as in everything else.
GLOBE:
And do you keep my secrets, those men who helped us tonight?
OLD MAN:
Won't be a problem.
I promised to feed them.
[cut]
(WORKERS are grumbling outside the mansion when the OLD MAN appears on the balcony.)
WORKER:
Ah, beg pardon, Doctor Simeon... it's been a long day. I don't see any food here.
SIMEON:
I do.
(Several SNOWMEN shoot up out of the ground, encircling the WORKERS, who scream.)
WORKER:
What is this?
SIMEON (with terrible grammar):
I said I'd feed you. I didn't say who to.
(The SNOWMEN eat the WORKERS with grunts, growls and gnashing.)
[cut]
(A
tavern-sign waves in the wind: “The Rose & Crown”. Inside the
tavern, a barmaid collects a few empty mugs, looks around, and then
steps out the back—or front—door.
Outside, the street is
empty, covered with a layer of snow. She closes the door, and is
somewhat startled when she turns back around. She sets down the tray of
mugs and approaches a large, menacing snowman which has appeared.
A MAN IN A TOPHAT is walking past. The BARMAID questions him:)
BARMAID:
Did you make the snowman?
TOPHAT-MAN (sullenly, without pausing, continuing to walk away):
No.
BARMAID:
Well who did? 'Cause it wasn't there a second ago. It just appeared.
(The TOPHAT-MAN stops.)
BARMAID:
From nowhere.
(The TOPHAT-MAN, the DOCTOR, turns around and walks back over to her, puts on glasses, then examines the snowman.)
DOCTOR:
Maybe it's snow that fell before. Maybe it remembers how to make snowmen.
BARMAID (dismissing the idea):
What? Snow that can remember?
That's silly.
DOCTOR:
What's wrong with silly?
BARMAID:
Nothin'. Still talking to you, ain't I?
(She smiles. He smiles.)
DOCTOR (removing his glasses):
What's your name?
BARMAID:
Clara. /klɑːɹə/
DOCTOR:
Nice name.
Clara.
(as he walks off again) You should definitely keep it!
(as he rounds the corner) Goodbye!
(CLARA runs after the DOCTOR.)
CLARA:
Oi!
Where are you goin'? I thought we was just gettin' acquainted?
(The DOCTOR looks sad, but forces an insincere smile when he turns around.)
DOCTOR:
Those were the days...
(A flicker of confusion crosses CLARA'S face as sadness crosses the DOCTOR'S. The DOCTOR turns and walks off again.
CLARA
turns to walk back to the bar, wearing high heels, but stops when she
hears a carriage door shut, a horse neigh and a man call out “hüa”. She
backs up, returning to the alleyway, casts off her shawl, and begins to
run after the DOCTOR.
She makes her way through interconnecting alleyways in time to see a carriage pulling off.
She chases it around a corner.)
FEMALE VOICE, over a speaker in the DOCTOR'S carriage:
Ah, refreshing to see you taking an interest [once] again.
Was she nice?
DOCTOR:
I just spoke to her.
VOICE:
And made your usual impact, no doubt.
DOCTOR:
No, no impact at all.
Those days are over.
VOICE:
You can't help yourself!
It's the same story every time, and it always begins with the same two words.
DOCTOR:
She'll never be able to find me again! She doesn't even have the name, “Doctor”! What two words?
(The DOCTOR looks alarmed as something is heard colliding with the top of the carriage.)
CLARA (popping her head in, upside down, through the roof of the carriage):
Doctor? Doctor who?
(The DOCTOR looks surprised.)
(A new intro begins, with the TARDIS
spinning through a lava-lamp-like sea of red clouds and yellow
globules, bursts of flame and arcs of light, planet-like spheres and
structures like cell nets, as more modern music gives way to the
tried-and-true metallic theme tune. Flashes give the names of Matt Smith
and Jenna-Louise Coleman, and the face of the Doctor, as in old
episodes. The title card is then displayed: The Snowmen, written by Steven Moffat.)
(We see, from above, a carriage drawn along a street dusted with snow.
The carriage pulls away, leaving a MAN standing in front of a mansion, overlooking a frozen pond.)
MAID (stepping out of the mansion):
Good evenin', sir.
MAN:
Pond's frozen over.
Hasn't frozen since the night...
SIMEON:
...since the night your children's governess died, a year ago.
(SIMEON walks past the younger MAN, who looks to his MAID.)
MAID:
Doctor Simeon, sir. 'e insisted on waitin'.
SIMEON:
She drowned in this very pond.
Which then froze.
You didn't find her until a month later, when the ice finally melted.
MAN:
I recall the incident. It is the sort of thing one remembers.
SIMEON:
Ice remembers, too.
MAN:
Who are you? What do you want here?
(SIMEON holds up a business card, with the monogram GI, which the younger MAN takes.)
SIMEON:
The pond is yours, Captain Latimer.
But what is growing inside it, when it is ready, is ours.
Good evening.
(SIMEON walks off.)
[cut]
(We see wavy windowpanes, and hear laughter.
SIMEON rounds a corner; a shadow follows him.
A chipper voice atop two black boot- and stocking-clad legs addresses him.)
JENNY (hands on hips, standing in his way):
Well, Doctor Simeon... you're out very late tonight.
VASTRA (behind SIMEON):
Almost makes you wonder *what* you've been up to...
(SIMEON shows no fear; if anything, his face softens and he looks a bit younger for a moment, before his scowl returns.)
VASTRA:
...but then, I have often wondered, about the activities of Doctor Simeon and his exceptionally secretive institute.
SIMEON:
Well, I am honoured this evening...
(at VASTRA) the veiled detective...
(at JENNY) and her fatuous accomplice.
JENNY (curtseying):
At your service.
SIMEON:
You
realise Dr Doyle is almost certainly basing his fantastical tales on
your own exploits? With a few choice alterations, of course. I doubt the
readers of the Strand magazine would accept that the great detective (he approaches VASTRA) is in reality (he lifts VASTRA'S veil, and seems a bit surprised at her green skin, but continues) a woman... and her suspiciously intimate companion.
VASTRA:
I resent your implication of impropriety. We are married.
JENNY:
More than can be said for you, eh dear?
VASTRA:
Now
then... this snow is interesting, don't you think? The ice crystals
seem to have a low-level telepathic field. *Almost* as if it can detect
and respond to the thoughts and memories of the people around it.
Memory snow.
Snow that learns.
SIMEON (sarcastically):
How fascinating.
VASTRA:
I hope it's listening to the right people. It could be a terrible weapon in the wrong hands, don't you think?
SIMEON:
I think winter is coming,
such a winter as this world has never known,
the last winter of humankind...
Do you know why I'm telling you all this?
VASTRA:
I am intrigued.
SIMEON (putting his face close to VASTRA'S):
Because there's not a single thing you can do to stop it.
VASTRA (failing the Brechdel test):
Perhaps I can't, but I know a man who can!
SIMEON (turning back to face VASTRA and JENNY as he walks off):
I look forward to meeting him.
JENNY:
D'you mean the Doctor? He won't help us. He never helps anymore, you know that.
VASTRA:
Yes, my dear, I do, so pray for a miracle, because I think we are going to need him.
(JENNY sighs, doubtful.)
[cut]
(We see the institute through binoculars.)
STRAX:
They've taken samples from snowmen all over London.
What do you suppose they're doing in there?
(STRAX lowers his binoculars.)
DOCTOR (kneeling on the ground, holding a bit of snow in his hand):
[The] snow is new.
Possibly alien.
When you find something brand new in the world, something you've never seen before, what's the next thing you look for?
STRAX (after thought):
A grenade!
DOCTOR (horrified):
A profit.
(He stands and throws his handful of snow back to the ground.)
That's Victorian values for you.
STRAX:
I suggest a full frontal assault with automated laser monkeys, scalpel mines, and acid.
DOCTOR (challenging STRAX):
Why?
STRAX (submitting a new suggestion):
Couldn't we at least investigate?
DOCTOR:
[No], it's none of our business.
STRAX:
Sir! Permission to expression my opposition to your current apathy?
DOCTOR:
Permission granted.
STRAX:
Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy!
DOCTOR:
Thank you, Strax. (All the while, we hear faint cries from somewhere nearby, as of children playing.)
And
if I'm ever in the need of advice from a psychotic potato-dwarf, (the
DOCTOR clasps the sides of STRAX' head) you'll certainly be the first to
know.
STRAX (remaining calm):
But if the snow is new, and alien, shouldn't <i>we</i> be making some attempt to destroy it? Be reasonable...
DOCTOR:
It is not our problem.
(We see that the cries originate from a rocking carriage parked nearby, and are someone's protestations.)
DOCTOR:
Over a thousand years of saving the universe, Strax... you know the one thing I learned?
The universe doesn't care.
(We hear the voice exclaim “oi, Doctor!...”)
DOCTOR:
Now... we have a problem of our own to worry about.
(CLARA is inside the carriage, ejaculating “let me out! oi!”)
DOCTOR (opening the door and stepping up, as she recoils):
Don't worry... no one's going to hurt you.
(CLARA breathes heavily but does not attempt to escape as the DOCTOR enters the carriage.)
CLARA (seeing STRAX):
What is that thing?
STRAX:
Silence, boy!
DOCTOR:
That's Strax, and as you can see *he's easily confused*.
STRAX (less gruffly, correcting himself):
Silence, girl!
(to CLARA:) Sorry, lad.
DOCTOR (to CLARA):
Sontaran[s]: clone warrior race, factory produced, whole legions at a time... two genders is a bit further than he can count.
STRAX:
Sir, do not discuss my reproductive cycle in front of enemy girls. It's embarrassing.
DOCTOR (to CLARA, whispering):
Typical middle child of six million...
CLARA (cautiously intrigued):
Who are you?
DOCTOR:
(to CLARA) It doesn't matter, because you're about to forget that you and I ever met.
(to STRAX) We'll need the worm.
STRAX:
Sir. (STRAX moves off to get the worm.)
CLARA (leaning past the DOCTOR sticking her head out the door, looking in the direction STRAX went):
You'll need the what?
The worm? What worm?
DOCTOR:
Don't worry, it won't hurt you. But one touch on your bare skin and you lose the last hour of your memory.
(CLARA is wide-eyed, alarmed.
STRAX returns empty-handed.)
DOCTOR (to STRAX):
Where is it?
STRAX:
Where's what, sir?
DOCTOR:
I sent you to get the memory worm.
STRAX:
Did you?
When?
(noticing CLARA) Who's he?
(The DOCTOR and CLARA look at each other in amused confusion.)
What are we doing here?
(looking up at the sky) Look, it's been snowing!
DOCTOR:
You didn't use the gauntlets, did you?
STRAX:
Why would I need the gauntlets?
STRAX:
Do you want me to get the memory worm?
DOCTOR (stifling a swear):
You...
[cut]
(A few minutes later, STRAX is under the carriage.)
DOCTOR:
Well, can you see it?
STRAX:
I think I can hear it.
(CLARA is giggling. The DOCTOR looks at her.)
DOCTOR:
Oi!
(The DOCTOR points his finger at CLARA, who is leaning by a window, waiting.)
Don't try to run away! Stay where you are!
CLARA:
Why would I run? I know what's gonna happen next, and it's funny.
DOCTOR:
What's funny?
CLARA:
Well, you li'l' pal, for a start.
[Zany?] little fellow, isn't he?
DOCTOR:
May-be... he gave his life for a friend of mine, once.
CLARA:
Then how come he's alive?
DOCTOR:
Another friend of mine brought him back. I'm not sure all his *brains made the return trip*!
CLARA:
Neither am I.
STRAX:
I can see it.
DOCTOR (peering under the carriage):
Ooh! Can you reach it?
Have you got it?
(CLARA moves to lean against the carriage.)
STRAX (grasping it):
Got what, sir?
CLARA (picking up a set of large, heavy, three-fingered gloves):
Because these are the gauntlets, aren't they?
(The WORM squeals.)
STRAX:
Sir, emergency, I think I've been run over by a cab!
[cut]
(A few minutes later, wearing the gauntlets, the DOCTOR at last grabs the worm.)
DOCTOR:
There you go!
(CLARA looks on with interest as the DOCTOR wrestles the WORM into a jar.)
DOCTOR:
One touch, and you lose about an hour of your memory. Let it bite you, and you could lose... decades...
(The DOCTOR breathes heavily, exhausted, once the WORM is finally in the sealed jar.)
DOCTOR:
And you're still not trying to run.
CLARA:
I don't understand how the snowman build itself.
I'll run... once you've explained.
DOCTOR:
Clara who?
CLARA:
Doctor who?
DOCTOR:
Ooh, dangerous question.
CLARA:
What's wrong with dangerous?
(CLARA and the DOCTOR look at each other.)
DOCTOR:
[...] it's a low-level telepathic... field.
(As
the DOCTOR is speaking, a SNOWMAN rises out of nowhere, around the
corner, within CLARA'S line of sight but not the DOCTOR'S. CLARA looks
at it with concern.)
CLARA:
The snowman!
DOCTOR (oblivious):
It seems to reflect people's and memories, and because it's [unusual?], somehow it carries previous shapes ...
CLARA (running over to grab the DOCTOR, who is oblivious, observing the worm):
No, Doctor!
That snowman!
DOCTOR (rubbing his hands together):
Ah... interesting. Well, were you thinking about it.
CLARA:
Yeah.
(Another SNOWMAN shoots up.)
DOCTOR:
Well... stop.
(CLARA and the DOCTOR turn to run, but a SNOWMAN appears blocking their exit.)
DOCTOR:
Clara! Stop thinking about the snowmen!
(CLARA'S mouth is open in surprise.
The SNOWMEN open their mouths and blow snow at the pair.)
DOCTOR (as CLARA screams):
Get down!
(The DOCTOR holds CLARA'S face.)
Clara! Listen to me, the snow's feeding off your thoughts.
CLARA:
I don't understand.
DOCTOR:
You're
caught in their telepathic [field/web]. They're mirroring you. The more
you think about the snowmen, the more they appear. Imagine them
melting. Picture it, picture them melted!
(CLARA closes
her eyes and concentrates. She gasps as she and the DOCTOR are hit with
a splash of water. The SNOWMEN have melted.)
DOCTOR (relieved):
Well, very good...! Very, very good...! Ha!
(The DOCTOR stands and dances. CLARA, who has been crouching on the ground, collapses back against the wall.)
CLARA:
Is that gonna happen again?
DOCTOR:
Well, if it does, you know what to do about it.
CLARA (standing up, noticing that the DOCTOR is holding the WORM):
Unless I forget...
DOCTOR (looking at the WORM and putting it away and leafing CLARA over to the carriage):
Don't come looking for me.
Forget about me. Do you understand?
CLARA:
What about the snow?
Shouldn't we be warning people?
DOCTOR:
Not my problem.
(to CLARA) Merry Christmas.
(to STRAX, the driver) Take her back where we found her.
(The DOCTOR walks off.)
STRAX:
Sir.
(When the carriage departs, we see that CLARA has exited the other side and is standing, watching the DOCTOR depart.
She follows him, pressing against walls along the way in model-like, unuseful ways. The DOCTOR, having walked out of an alleyway towards a fenced-in square, leaps over the wrought-iron fence.
He whistles Silent Night as he walks into the park-square.
After
turning to make sure no-one is watching, he jumps into the air, and
grabs the very bottom wrung of a ladder which was not visible before.
He pulls the retractable ladder down and rests the end of it on the ground.
CLARA watches, unobserved, from behind a tree.
When the DOCTOR has climbed out of sight, the ladder retracts back up into blackness.
CLARA begins to move from behind the tree.
Cautiously,
she moves to where the DOCTOR had been, but when she looks up, she sees
nothing but a cloudy, dark blue sky, the moon peeking through.
Spinning around, she leaps into the air, but grasps nothing, and falls flat on her back.
Getting up, she tries again, and this time grasps the ladder. She swings, her high-heel boots an inch above the ground.)
CLARA:
Come on!
(The ladder drops, and she begins to climb up.
Reaching a landing, she looks out and people walking by, below.)
CLARA (waving to them):
Hello!
(finding that they do not notice her:) ...invisible.
(She sees that the landing is the beginning of a spiral staircase.)
CLARA:
Invisible staircase.
(The ladder retracts again as she climbs.
When
she reaches the top of the staircase, she climbs through a layer of
cloud, and looks out across the cloud landscape and up at the stars
above.
Turning around, walks cautiously over the clouds to the TARDIS, which emits a wobbly sound when she touches its door gently.
She knocks three times in short succession, when causes a burning electrical noise. At this, she runs around the TARDIS to the side.
The DOCTOR opens the creaking door and sticks his head out.)
DOCTOR:
Hello?
(Hearing the DOCTOR leave the TARDIS, CLARA slips around the back.)
DOCTOR:
Hello?
(With a sad, confused look, the DOCTOR moves along the side of the TARDIS, and peers behind it.
The DOCTOR looks behind the TARDIS. Simultaneously, CLARA moves around the front, to the open door.)
DOCTOR:
Hello?
(CLARA peeks in the door, but it is dark, and she appears not to notice anything about the inside of the TARDIS.
She darts off and hurries down the stairs, her shawl dropping from her
shoulders to the cloud-ground with a crumple. She is out of sight just
as the DOCTOR comes around to the front of the TARDIS. He stops and notices something by the stairs: CLARA dropped her shawl. He sniffs it. CLARA runs down the spiral staircase.)
[cut]
A carriage draws up in front of the institute.
GLOBE (unseen):
Tonight, the thaw. Tomorrow, the snow will fall again, yet stronger.
(The GLOBE comes into view, as SIMEON approaches it with a bottle of snow.)
GLOBE:
The drowned woman and the dreaming child will give us form at last.
Tomorrow, the snow will fall, and so shall mankind ... see us coming.
[cut] (The ice on the pond cracks.)
[cut] (CLARA awakes in her bed, and smiles. She has packed a bag.)
[cut] (CLARA is leaving the bar, the barman following her.)
CLARA:
Look a' that! Must've thawed in the night!
BARMAN (standing):
I'm beggin' ya, Clara. I'm on my knees.
CLARA:
Elsie's back this afternoon, and I was only 'elpin' out.
Got my own work to go back to.
BARMAN:
What work?
Why won't you ever tell us?
CLARA (spinning as she walks off):
You'd never believe me. (She blows him a kiss and walks off.)
[cut]
(Now in a carriage, CLARA draws the blinds and begins to change her clothes.
When she steps out of the carriage at a mansion, she is more covered, wearing a coat, a hat and a bright expression.
A MAID steps out of the house to greet CLARA.)
CLARA:
Alice.
How smart you look today.
MAID (repeating a rule):
“Governess should en'er by the back door unless accom'nied by the children.”
CLARA:
And how are the children?
Excited about tomorrow?
MAID:
Francesca... same as ever.
Digby said he missed you every day.
Captain La'imore wants to see you.
CLARA:
Of course.
CLARA (pausing and looking back as she goes into the house):
Every day?
MAID:
Twice on Sa'urdays.
CLARA:
That's better. (She the continues to walk in through what appears to be the front door.)
[cut]
(LATIMER is examining a Great Intelligence Institute business card when CLARA knocks. She enters.)
CLARA:
Captain Latimer.
LATIMER:
Ah. Miss Montague. You're back.
CLARA:
In time for Christmas.
Apologies for my brief absence; family illness is so unpredictable.
You wanted to see me?
LATIMER:
Francesca has been having nightmares.
CLARA:
Young girls often do.
LATIMER:
Every night this week, she says. Won't tell me about them.
CLARA:
Perhaps if you asked her in the right way, there's no-one she'd rather tell.
LATIMER:
Children are... not really my area of expertise.
CLARA:
They are, however, your children.
LATIMER:
You have, if I may say, a, ah, remarkable amount of wisdom in these matters for one so ...very pretty, Miss Montague.
Young, I mean!
CLARA:
I'll see to the children now.
[cut]
(Outside, the CHILDREN are playing.)
FRANCESCA:
Miss Montague!
DIGBY:
Miss Montague, you're back!
CLARA (fending them off with a wagging finger as they run up to her):
Uh-uh-uh!
FRANCESCA:
Good morning, Miss Montague.
DIGBY:
Good morning, Miss Montague.
CLARA (shaking their hands):
Good morning, Francesca.
Good morning, Digby.
Christmas Eve is a most thrilling day, don't you think?
Now, what have you two been up to while I've been away?
DIGBY:
I did seven drawings. [dror-ings]
An' we saw a dead cow.
CLARA:
Well! How exciting.
DIGBY:
Do you secret voice!
(CLARA looks around to verify that no-one else is watching.)
CLARA (in a more working-class accent):
'Ello, mates!
(The CHILDREN laugh.)
[cut]
FRANCESCA (speaking to CLARA):
They're not exactly nightmares, just dreams.
DIGBY:
About our old governess, the one who died. She's haunting Frannie from beyond the grave.
(CLARA looks concerned.)
CLARA:
Haven't you spoken to your father about this?
(LATIMER is seen in an upper window, briefly.)
FRANCESCA:
You cant talk about things like that to daddy.
CLARA:
You could try.
DIGBY:
Do you want to see where she died?
(CLARA and FRANCESCA look up at him.)
[cut]
(We see the pond in front of the house.)
DIGBY:
She fell in there.
And then it froze. She was in the ice for days and days.
I hated her. She was cross all the time.
In Frannie's dreams, she's still down there, waiting to come back.
CLARA:
Everything else is thawed. but this pond... (she taps it) is still frozen.
(In
her mind, CLARA hears the DOCTOR'S words: “The snow's feeding off your
thoughts. The more you think about the snowmen, the more they appear.”)
CLARA:
Frannie, this is important. When you dream about her, what do you dream?
FRANCESCA:
She's cross with me.
She says I've been bad and she's going to come out of the pond and punish me.
CLARA:
When?
FRANCESCA:
She said she'd come back for Christmas. Tonight.
DIGBY:
I think Frannie's gone mad, don't you? I think she needs a doctor.
(CLARA, who had been gazing back at the pond, bolts to attention.)
[cut]
(CLARA
runs into the park, and goes to where she last saw the cloud. She looks
around and, in broad daylight, with nothing visible above her, shouts:)
CLARA:
Doctor! Doctor!
(A few people stop to look. One says in the background, to another: “who's she looking [at]?” JENNY is walking by and notices.
CLARA
jumps into the air, but cannot reach the staircase, possibly because
she changed out of her high barmaid heels when she changed outfits.)
CLARA:
Doctor!
JENNY (running up to her, speaking in a loud whisper):
Now then! That's enough noise! (CLARA turns to look at JENNY.) We don't want to attract attention, do we?
CLARA:
I'm looking for the Doctor. Do you know about him, the Doctor?
(CLARA glances back at the sky.)
JENNY (smiling):
Doctor who?
[cut]
STRAX (in a butler's sharp uniform):
Do not attempt to escape, or you will be obliterated.
My I take your coat?
(CLARA hesitantly gives it to him.
In the room, VASTRA is drinking from a glass of red liquid.
CLARA admires the greenhouse until she notices VASTRA.)
JENNY (to a now-alarmed CLARA):
Sit.
(VASTRA licks her lips.
CLARA continues to look alarmed.
JENNY nods again towards the empty chair across from VASTRA.)
VASTRA:
There are two refreshments in your world the colour of red wine.
This is not red wine.
(CLARA sits.)
JENNY:
Madame Vastra will ask you questions.
You will confine yourself to single-word responses.
One word only.
Do you understand?
CLARA (intrigued):
Why?
VASTRA:
Truth is singular.
Lies are words [and] words and words.
VASTRA:
You met the Doctor, didn't you?
CLARA:
Yes.
And now you've come looking for him again. Why?
JENNY:
Take your time. One word only.
CLARA:
Curiosity.
VASTRA:
About?
CLARA:
Snow?
VASTRA:
And about him?
CLARA:
Yes.
VASTRA:
What do you want from him.
CLARA:
Help.
VASTRA:
Why?
CLARA:
Danger.
VASTRA:
Why would he help you?
CLARA:
Kindness.
VASTRA:
The Doctor is not kind.
CLARA (challenging, perhaps recalling the memory worm):
No?
VASTRA:
No. The Doctor doesn't help people. Not anyone, not ever.
He stands *above* this world
and doesn't interfere in the affairs of its inhabitants.
He is not your salvation nor your protector.
Do you understand what I am saying to you?
CLARA (simply):
Words.
(VASTRA looks impressed. Jenny looks amused.)
VASTRA:
He
was different once. A long time ago. Kind, yes. A hero, even. The saver
of worlds. But he suffered losses which hurt him. Now he prefers
isolation to the possibility of pain's return. Kindly choose a word to
indicate your understanding of this.
CLARA (after thought):
Man.
(VASTRA looks impressed, and looks to JENNY. JENNY nods.)
VASTRA:
We are the Doctor's friends. We assist him in his isolation but that does not mean we approve of it.
So, a test for you...
Give me a message for the Doctor,
tell him all about the snow and what fresh danger you believe it presents, and above all, explain why he should help you.
(CLARA is about to speak when VASTRA puts a finger to CLARA'S lips.)
VASTRA:
But do it in one word.
(CLARA looks alarmed.)
VASTRA:
You're thinking it's impossible such a word exists, or that you could even find it. Let's see if the [gods?] are with you.
[cut]
In the TARDIS, the phone rings.
DOCTOR (reluctantly picking it up after the second ring):
Yes?
What?
[I'm] trying to read.
VASTRA (over the phone):
Miss Clara and her concerns about the snow...
VASTRA (in the room):
I gave her the one word test.
DOCTOR (over the phone):
Oh, it's always pointless.
What did she say?
(VASTRA looks to JENNY, who smiles.)
DOCTOR:
Well?
VASTRA:
“Pond.”
(In the TARDIS, concern sweeps across the DOCTOR'S face. He had been wearing Amy Pond's reading glasses; he removes them.)
VASTRA (over the phone):
STRAX has already suggested where to start investigating.
[cut]
(Through the gate, we see the Great Intelligence Institute.)
[cut]
GLOBE (to SIMEON, who is writing at a desk):
Danger! Danger!
SIMEON:
What's wrong?
GLOBE:
There is danger here.
An intelligence. An intelligence beyond anything else in this time and place.
BUTLER (stepping into the room):
Doctor Simeon, sir? There's someone demanding to see you.
SIMEON:
No callers. Not in here, not ever.
Did he leave his name?
BUTLER:
Sir... it's Sherlock Holmes.
(SIMEON looks up. The DOCTOR barges in.)
DOCTOR:
Oh, yes. Big, globey thing. Now... shut up, don't tell me... I see from your collar-stud you have an apple-tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?
SIMEON:
No.
DOCTOR:
Do you have a wife?
SIMEON:
No.
DOCTOR:
Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples?
(The BUTLER looks confused.)
DOCTOR:
Come on, work with me here.
SIMEON (coldly):
I enjoy the Strand magazine as much as the next man... but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character.
Get out!
DOCTOR (pointing his cane at the Butler):
Do you have a goldfish named Collin?
BUTLER (thinking, confused):
...no...
DOCTOR (looking pleased with himself):
Thought not!
Now
(the DOCTOR turns towards the door and notices the desk)... ooh, I see
this is one of your business cards. It says so on the front.
SIMEON (taking it):
Who are you and what are you doing here?
DOCTOR (holding up another card):
This...
(The DOCTOR runs up to the machine and strikes it with his cane. It clangs slightly but does not crack.)
Wakey, wakey!
SIMEON (running over to him and grabbing the cane):
That is highly valuable equipment! you must stand away now.
GLOBE:
We are the intelligence.
DOCTOR (looking excited):
[Ooh.] Talking snow. I love new things.
GLOBE:
You are not of this world.
DOCTOR:
Takes one to snow one.
(The DOCTOR laughs at his own joke, “ha... takes one...ha ha ha...”. SIMEON is unamused. The DOCTOR becomes serious again.)
DOCTOR:
Right... let's see...
Multinuclear crystalline organism with the ability to mimic and mirror what it finds. [It] looks like snow, it isn't snow.
SIMEON:
You must leave here now.
DOCTOR:
Shut up, I'm making deductions, it's very exciting.
(The DOCTOR addresses the GLOBE as SIMEON walks towards the wall.)
DOCTOR:
Now, what are you? Eh?
A flock of space crystals? A swarm?
(SIMEON reaches the wall and rings a bell.)
DOCTOR:
The
snowmen are foot soldiers, mindless predators, but you... you're the
clever one, you're Moriarty... so, you turn upon a planet, you generate a
telepathic field to learn what you can...
(The DOCTOR takes out his sonic screwdriver and points it, glowing green, at the door, locking it.)
DOCTOR:
And when you've learnt enough... what do you do?
You
can't conquer the world using snowmen, snowmen are rubbish, in July...
you'll have to be better than that. You'll *have* to evolve.
BUTLER (trying to open the door to come in):
Sir! [...] It appears to be stuck!
SIMEON (to the DOCTOR):
What have you done? Have you locked the doors?
BUTLER:
Sir!
(SIMEON finds he cannot open the door from the inside, either.)
DOCTOR:
You need to translate yourself into something more ... well ... human.
SIMEON:
Kick it down!
DOCTOR:
[But]
to do that, you need a perfect duplicate of human DNA in ice form.
Where do you find (the DOCTOR turns to examine SIMEON'S desk)... that...
BUTLER:
Sir.
SIMEON:
Get in here! Quickly!
BUTLER:
W'thout the master key, there's no way in, sir.
(*NOTE: that is my best guess as the unclear line.)
DOCTOR:
Now,
let's see, the most open file (he lifts it into the air and drops
it)... the most viewed page. You know you really should your history.
(As SIMEON approaches him, the DOCTOR points to the headline with his cane:
“TRAGEDY AT DARKOVER HOUSE / GOVERNESS FROZEN IN POND”)
DOCTOR:
“Governess frozen in pond.”
(to SIMEON, as the BUTLER opens the door with the key) Gotcha!
BUTLER:
Got it, sir!
SIMEON:
Get in here!
SIMEON (addressing the two guards who enter):
Take him downstairs!
(SIMEON turns back around and notices that the DOCTOR is gone. After looking around, he notices an open window.)
[cut]
(The DOCTOR walks along the edge of the pond, scanning it with his screwdriver.)
DOCTOR:
Body frozen in a pond...
When
the snow gets a good, long look at a human being like a... full-body
scan... everything they need to evolve. A pond. Good point, Clara.
(STRAX approaches with a weapon. The DOCTOR notices and turns.)
DOCTOR:
What are you doing here?
STRAX:
Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades.
DOCTOR:
Grenades?
STRAX:
She might have said “help”.
DOCTOR:
Help [for] what?
STRAX (nodding to the pond):
Well, your investigation.
DOCTOR:
Investigation?
Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start
investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I
am?
STRAX:
Sherlock Holmes.
DOCTOR (wagging his finger meanly):
Don't be clever, Strax. It doesn't suit you.
STRAX:
Sorry, sir.
DOCTOR:
I'm the clever one, you're the potato one. (He pokes STRAX in the forehead.)
STRAX:
Yes, sir.
DOCTOR:
Now go away.
STRAX:
Yes... Mister Holmes.
(The DOCTOR frowns; STRAX laughs.)
DOCTOR:
Oi! shut up! you're not clever! Or funny! and you've got tiny little legs!
(The DOCTOR is bathed in yellow light and looks up to notice that CLARA is looking out the window.
CLARA waves.
The DOCTOR looks flustered, then a tiny bit perturbed, and waves back.
He squints.
She cups her hand and brings her fingers towards her, gesturing to him to come up.
He points to himself: “me?” He points to her: “you?”
Flustered, he turns around.)
DOCTOR (to himself):
Erm, OK... just tell her you're leaving, you're not going up.
(The
DOCTOR points upwards with his finger like Raphael's Plato, then pushes
an invisible person away as he practises miming “going away”. He turns
around to face her again.
He raises a hand, all five fingers extended, then closes his hand and leaves his thumb up.
She closes the window to run out to meet him.
When he notices what his hand has done, he hits himself on the head.)
DOCTOR (pointing at his right hand with his left, and addressing it):
What's that, about five minutes? Where did that come from? You...
(The DOCTOR bits his thumb, annoyed at it.
As he steps off of the ledge of the pond, he appears not to notice that it is cracking.)
[cut to a different place, still outside]
(A carriage draws up.)
STRAX:
It's the human male from the Institute. What's he doing here?
(VASTRA, STRAX and JENNY are hiding behind a door in comically ineffective fashion.)
I suggest we melt his brain using projectile acid vision. Then interrogate him.
(JENNY looks disgusted, VASTRA looks concerned.)
STRAX:
Other way 'round.
[cut]
(In her room, CLARA sits on FRANCESCA'S bed.)
FRANCESCA:
Am I going to have the nightmare tonight?
CLARA:
Definitely not.
FRANCESCA:
How do you know?
CLARA:
Because. Someone's coming to help.
FRANCESCA:
Who?
CLARA (as DIGBY climbs into FRANCESCA'S bed to listen to the story, too):
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
FRANCESCA:
Is it one of your stories?
Your definitely true ones?
CLARA (offended):
Ah! All my stories are true!
DIGBY:
Like how you're born behind the clock face of Big Ben?
CLARA:
Accounting for my acute sense of time.
DIGBY(?):
And you invented fish?
CLARA:
Because I dislike swimming alone.
DIGBY:
So what's this one?
CLARA:
There's
a man, called the Doctor, he lives on a cloud, in the sky, and he does,
all day, every day, is to stop all the children in the world ever
having bad dreams.
FRANCESCA (intoned as if she is realising it and pleased, not as if she is challenging CLARA):
I've been having bad dreams.
CLARA (as the floor creaks):
He's been on holiday. (The candle by the bedside flickers. The floor creaks more.)
But, I'm confident he has now returned to work.
(The door begins to open.)
And, as a matter of fact, he is right here...
Aren't you, Doctor?
(As CLARA finishes her sentence, any icy figure sloshes in.
The CHILDREN scream, CLARA lets out an alarmed exclamation.)
CLARA:
Bleedin' 'ell!
ICE LADY:
The children have been very naughty!
CLARA (to the CHILDREN):
Just get back, now!
Quickly!
DIGBY:
You're doing your other voice!
CLARA:
Yes love, did you notice?
ICE LADY:
Naughty, naughty children!
CLARA:
Run!
(The CHILDREN drop a teddy as they run.)
DIGBY(?):
What do we do?
CLARA (shutting the door and then running over):
Frannie, Frannie, imagine 'er meltin'!
FRANCESCA:
What?
CLARA:
In yer 'ead! Melt 'er!
FRANCESCA:
I can't!
ICE LADY (knocking the door open):
I'm getting impatient.
(She enters the room and points at the CHILDREN, as CLARA shields them.) You have been very naughty!
DIGBY:
What about the man? You said the man was here, the cloud man?
CLARA:
Well 'e's not, is 'e?
DIGBY:
Where's the Doctor?
CLARA:
I dunno!
(A VOICE sounds offscreen; CLARA and the CHILDREN look to it.)
VOICE:
Doctor?
(The VOICE comes from a hand puppet.)
PUPPET:
Doctor? (The puppet chuckles.) Doctor who?
(Disappearing briefly, the puppet reappears with the sonic screwdriver and uses it on the ICE LADY, who explodes.
After
closing their eyes to avoid the debris, CLARA and the CHILDREN look
over to notice that the DOCTOR has risen from behind the puppet-theater,
revealing that he is the puppeteer.)
DOCTOR (still in a puppet's voice):
That's the way to do it!
(He chuckles, as the puppet, then brings the puppet up to kiss him. CLARA looks amused and confused.)
DOCTOR (protesting and pulling his hand away):
Oi! Ow!
[cut]
(Outside
the house, SIMEON activates a mechanism which raises an antenna from
his carriage, a golden pole with a circle perched atop it, with thee
spikes extending from the outer rim of the ring. The circle turns to
face the house, and begins to blow out snow.
Inside the house, the DOCTOR examines the carpet as CLARA and the CHILDREN look on.)
FRANCESCA:
Where did she go?
Will she come back?
DOCTOR:
No, don't worry,
she's currently draining through your carpet.
New setting: antifreeze.
(to CLARA) And you're very welcome, by the way.
CLARA:
I'm very grateful.
I knew you'd come.
DOCTOR:
No you didn't,
because I don't,
because this isn't the sort of thing I do anymore.
And next time you're in trouble don't expect me to ...
(The DOCTOR, pacing, has reached a mirror, and sees himself in it. He looks concerned.)
CLARA:
What is it?
What's wrong?
(CLARA and the CHILDREN gather behind him, at a distance.)
DOCTOR (softly):
Sorry, it's just...
[I mean,] I put it on...
(On the other side of the room, the window begins to frost over.)
DOCTOR:
Old habits...
CLARA:
It's cooler...
DOCTOR (looking up, his sadness fading into a smile):
Yeah...
It is, isn't it. It is very cool.
Bowties are cool.
CLARA:
No, the room...
The room's getting colder.
(Beneath the carpet, a mass is forming.)
DIGBY(?):
She's coming back!
FRANCESCA:
What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me?
(The DOCTOR points his sonic screwdriver at her as she reforms, a lump under the rug, but
it has no effect.)
DOCTOR:
Ah... ah... she's learned not to melt.
Course she's not really a governess, she's just a beast.
(to FRANCESCA:) She's going to eat you.
(with a calm voice:) Run.
(The DOCTOR grabs the children's hands and runs.
LATIMER is heading towards the stairwell when he sees the CHILDREN running down
it.)
LATIMER:
Children, what is the explana...
(seeing the DOCTOR) Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?
DOCTOR:
It's OK.
I am your governess'[s] gentleman friend (CLARA nods) and we've just been upstairs ... kissing.
(The DOCTOR looks to CLARA, excited. CLARA looks at LATIMER, worried.)
MAID (ringing a bell as she runs up to the group):
Captain Latimer!
In the garden, there's snowmen, and they're just growing... (the DOCTOR
holds up his finger, but the MAID keeps moving, towards the door) out of
nowhere, all by themselves, look...
(The MAID opens the door only to find VASTRA and JENNY.)
VASTRA:
Good evening. I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.
(The MAID screams and runs off.
SNOWMEN are growling behind VASTRA and JENNY, but they are unconcerned.
The MAID'S path is blocked by STRAX.)
STRAX:
This dwelling is under attack.
Remain calm, human scum!
(The MAID screams again and faints.
The DOCTOR examines her briefly, then addresses LATIMER.)
DOCTOR:
So... any questions?
LATIMER (confused, taken aback, to CLARA):
You have a ... gentleman ... friend?
(CLARA sighs, slightly exasperated.
The DOCTOR looks amused, then runs over to VASTRA.)
DOCTOR:
Vastra, what's happening?
VASTRA (as the DOCTOR peers out a window):
The snow is highly localised... and on this occasion, not naturally occurring.
JENNY:
It's comin' out o' that cab parked by the gates.
STRAX:
Sir, one pulver-grenade would blow these “snow men” to smithereens.
DOCTOR (pulling the ear of an annoyed STRAX):
No, no, no, Strax, they're snow, they're already smithereens.
(to CLARA:) See, Clara, our friends again.
LATIMER (confused):
Clara? Who is Clara?
DOCTOR:
Your current governess is in reality a former barmaid called Clara.
(CLARA is holding up her finger, as if to day “that's me”, looking innocent.)
ICE LADY (appearing behind the others, at the top of the stairs):
That's the way to do it!
DOCTOR:
Meanwhile, your previous governess is now a living ice sculpture who's impersonating Mister Punch.
Jenny, what have you got?
(JENNY
smiles and wordlessly pulls out a black, red-lit deus-ex-machina
grenade. She throws it at the ICE LADY'S feet, where it bursts into a
forcefield and traps the ICE LADY at the top of the stairs.)
JENNY:
Should hold it!
(STRAX, wielding a rifle, emerges from a room he has been scouting out.)
STRAX (nodding to the room):
Sir, this room! One observational window on the line of attack and one defendable entrance.
DOCTOR (not particularly urgently, as the ICE LADY pounds on the forcefield):
Right! Everyone in there, now. Move it.
(instructing someone to carry the MAID:) You, carry her!
VASTRA (to the DOCTOR, after the others have taken shelter):
Nice to see you off your cloud and engaging again!
DOCTOR (scanning the ICE LADY with his screwdriver):
I'm not engaging again, I'm under attack.
VASTRA:
You missed this, didn't you?
(The DOCTOR scowls and points his screwdriver at her, but his expression softens.)
DOCTOR (playfully):
Shut up!
(VASTRA follows the DOCTOR into the room. LATIMER is drinking from a squat glass. CLARA is comforting the CHILDREN.)
DOCTOR:
Strax, how long have we got?
STRAX:
They're
not going to attack. They made no attempt to conceal their arrival. An
attack force would never abandon surprise so easily. [And] they're
clearly in a defense formation.
(The DOCTOR playfully punches STRAX.)
DOCTOR:
Ey, ey, ey, well done Strax-y!
Still got it, buddy!
(The DOCTOR rubs STRAX' head and then kisses it.)
STRAX:
Sir, please do not noogie me during combat prep!
VASTRA:
Sir, there's something here they want.
CLARA (standing):
The ice woman.
DOCTOR:
Exactly.
JENNY:
Why's she so important?
DOCTOR:
Because she's a perfect duplication of human DNA in
ice-crystal form: the ultimate fusion of snow and humanity. To live
here, the snow needs to evolve, and she's the blueprint. She's what they
need to become.
(to CLARA:) When the snow melted last night, did the pond?
CLARA:
No.
DOCTOR:
Living ice. It will never melt.
If
the snow gets ahold of that creature on the stairs, it will learn to
make more of them, it will build an army of ice... and it will be the
last day of humanity on this planet.
(A look of resolve bubbles up to the surface of the DOCTOR'S face. He stops wringing his hands and cracks his neck, preparing.)
DOCTOR:
Stay here.
(CLARA watches him leave the room and then, as VASTRA looks on, leaves after him.)
DOCTOR (turning and seeing her):
Oi! I told you to stay in there!
CLARA:
Oh. I didn't listen.
DOCTOR:
You do that a lot.
CLARA:
That's why you like me.
DOCTOR:
Who said I like you?
(CLARA grabs him and kisses him. The lights flicker. When she breaks the kiss, he looks tickled, she looks impressed.)
CLARA:
I think you just did.
DOCTOR:
*You* kissed *me*!
CLARA:
You blushed.
DOCTOR (flustered):
And with ... the ... shut up!
(The DOCTOR runs to the door. CLARA breaks into a grin, tickled with herself, then runs after him.
The DOCTOR opens the door to find SIMEON, who snarls, SNOWMEN rising behind him.)
SIMEON:
Release her to us.
You have five minutes.
(SIMEON turns and leaves. The DOCTOR closes the door and heads back to the staircase)
DOCTOR (to CLARA):
We need to get her out of here, but keep her away from them.
CLARA:
How?
DOCTOR (drawing an umbrella and presenting it to CLARA):
With this. Do I always have to state the obvious?
(LATIMER looks on.)
LATIMER:
Those creatures outside. What are they?
DOCTOR:
No danger to you as long as I get that thing out of here.
(gesturing to the room:) You, in there, now!
(The DOCTOR strides halfway up the stairs and begins to dismantle the forcefield with his sonic screwdriver.)
CLARA:
Wh-what are you doing?
DOCTOR:
'Tween you and me, ... can't wait to find out!
(The
forcefield collapses. The DOCTOR points his screwdriver behind him and
reforms it at the base of the stairs, sealing them in.)
DOCTOR (assuming she is still in the hall):
Right, if you look after everyone here, then I can...
(noticing she is actually behind him, inside the forcefield:) Clara!
CLARA (as the ICE LADY charges at them):
Doctor!
DOCTOR:
Clara... you were stupid!
(*NOTE: that is my guess at what he says.)
CLARA:
You were stupid, too!
DOCTOR (as he and CLARA run around the ICE LADY):
I'm allowed! I'm good at stupid!
ICE LADY:
That's the way to do it!
CLARA:
Why does she keep saying that?
DOCTOR:
Mirroring, random mirroring, we need to get on the roof!
ICE LADY:
That's the way to do it!
DOCTOR (as CLARA grabs his hand and pulls him away from the ICE LADY):
Woah! No, no! I do the hand-grabbing, that's my job, that's always me!
[cut to a different camera]
DOCTOR (thrusting open the window, having retaken the lead):
Come on, quickly!
(The DOCTOR darts onto the roof. CLARA begins to climb out after him.)
CLARA (unable to fit through the window):
Ah!
DOCTOR:
What're you doing?
CLARA:
My bustle is stuck!
DOCTOR:
Your bustle?
(The DOCTOR pulls her out; he falls backwards, she falls atop him.)
DOCTOR:
You're going to have to take those clothes off!
(CLARA pulls back with a short gasp, startled.)
DOCTOR:
I didn't mean...
CLARA:
I know.
DOCTOR:
I just...
CLARA:
I understand, I do.
DOCTOR:
Good.
CLARA:
No, what's the plan?
DOCTOR:
Who said I've got a plan?
CLARA:
Course you got a plan, you took that! (She holds up the umbrella.)
DOCTOR (getting out from under her):
Maybe I'm an idiot.
CLARA (after a moment's thought):
You're not! You're clever, really clever!
(The DOCTOR smiles at this.)
DOCTOR (throwing her the umbrella):
And you... if I've got a plan, was is it? You tell me.
ICE LADY (reaching the window):
That's the way to do it!
CLARA:
Is this a test?
DOCTOR:
Yes.
CLARA:
What would it do to us?
DOCTOR:
Kill us.
ICE LADY:
That's the way to do it!
(The
ICE LADY becomes a breeze of ice particles so that she can float
through the open window rather than climbing, but not float off the roof
and down to the institute's carriage in a way that would short-circuit
the plot.)
DOCTOR:
So, come on then, plan, do I have one?
CLARA:
Oh, I know what your plan is! I knew straigh' away!
DOCTOR:
No you didn't.
CLARA:
Course I did.
DOCTOR:
Show me.
CLARA:
Why should I?
DOCTOR:
Because we'll be dead in under thirty seconds. Do I have a plan?
CLARA:
If
we'd been escaping, we'd be climbing down the building. If we'd be on
the other side of the roof, but no ... we're standing (holding the
umbrella's handle, she throws it a little ways into the air in front of
her, just enough so that she can then grab the center of it; it remains
closed) ... right here.
DOCTOR:
So?
CLARA:
So... after you.
(She reaches up with the umbrella and pulls the TARDIS ladder down from the sky. The ICE LADY is reforming behind the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR:
After you!
CLARA:
After you! I'm wearin' a dress! Eyes front, soldier!
DOCTOR (climbing the ladder):
My eyes are always front.
CLARA (in a tone of voice I don't know how to describe; perhaps 'belittling, sarcastic agreement'):
I know.
DOCTOR:
Stop it!
CLARA:
No!
CLARA (politely, to the ICE LADY, who has fully reformed):
I understand you're the previous governess.
I regret to inform you the position is taken.
Goodnight! (She taps the ladder with the umbrella and it rises.)
[cut to a different camera]
CLARA (on the landing, to the DOCTOR):
So you can move your cloud? You can control it?
DOCTOR:
No! No-one can control clouds! That would be silly. The wind, a little bit...
CLARA (hearing a clang and noticing that the ICE LADY is climbing up the ladder):
She's followin' us!
DOCTOR:
That's the idea!
Keep her away from the snow!
So... barmaid or governess, which is it?
CLARA:
That... thing... is after us, and you wanna chat?
DOCTOR:
Well, we can't chat *after* we've been horrible killed, can we?
CLARA:
How do we get up so high, so quick?
(The DOCTOR and CLARA are almost to the cloud level. The ICE LADY is a full spiral below them.)
DOCTOR:
Clever staircase! Taller on the inside.
CLARA (now above the clouds):
What am I standin' on? What's this made of?
DOCTOR (sealing the clouds):
Super-dense water vapour! Should keep her trapped for the moment!
(The
music calms as the DOCTOR seals the staircase with cloud, and he and
CLARA turn their gaze, as the camera turns its, to the TARDIS, perched
all alone on the cloud, its light and “POLICE BOX” signs glowing, but
its exterior still dirty, as it was in the cemetery in New York when the
Weeping Angel took Amy and Rory.)
CLARA:
Do you actually live up here, on a cloud, in a box?
DOCTOR:
I have [done?] for a long time, now.
CLARA:
Bli-mey, you really know how to sulk, don't you?
DOCTOR:
I'm not sulking!
CLARA:
You live in a box!
DOCTOR (walking away from her, over to the TARDIS):
That's no more a box than you are a governess!
CLARA (offended):
Oh, spoken like a man!
You know, you're the same as all the rest!
“Sweet li'l Clara. works at the 'Rose and Crown'.
(All the while, the DOCTOR is opening the doors to the TARDIS.)
Ideas above 'er station.”
(The DOCTOR walks into the TARDIS. CLARA, who has followed him, is almost at the
TARDIS doors and still does not notice anything.)
Well for your information, I'm not sweet on the inside, and I'm certainly not...
(The DOCTOR, who has reached the central panel, lights up the interior of the TARDIS.
This silences CLARA. The DOCTOR turns around, pleased with himself.)
CLARA:
...little.
DOCTOR:
It's called the TARDIS.
It can travel anywhere in time and space.
And it's mine.
CLARA:
But it's...
Look at it, it's...
DOCTOR:
Go on, say it. Most people do.
(CLARA runs out of the TARDIS to run around its exterior. The DOCTOR chuckles.)
CLARA (stepping back into the TARDIS):
...smaller on the outside.
DOCTOR (surprised):
OK. That is a first.
CLARA:
Is it magic?
Is it a machine?
DOCTOR:
It's a ship!
(CLARA giggles and runs over to look up a stairwell.)
CLARA (stopping when she realises she is in a film studio and the stairwell doesn't go anywhere):
A ship?
DOCTOR (attending to the control console):
Best ship in the universe!
CLARA:
Is there a kitchen?
DOCTOR:
Another first.
CLARA:
Dunno why I asked that. It's just... I like making soufflés.
(CLARA continues exploring, but the DOCTOR looks up now, intrigued.)
DOCTOR (moving over to her with a concerned look):
Soufflés?
CLARA:
Why are you showing me all this?
DOCTOR:
*You* followed *me*.
Remember? I didn't invite you! (He turns back to the console.)
CLARA:
You're nearly a foot taller than I am.
(The DOCTOR turns around. CLARA raises the still-closed umbrella.)
You could've reached the ladder without this.
You took it. For me.
(She throws it to him; he catches it.)
Why?
(The DOCTOR sets down the umbrella and walks over to her, taking a TARDIS key out of his pocket.)
DOCTOR:
I never know why... I only know who.
CLARA (as the DOCTOR closes her hand around the key):
Wha[t]'s this?
DOCTOR:
Me. Giving in.
(CLARA'S expression flickers between happiness and sadness. She lets out a little nervous laugh.)
CLARA:
Dunno why I'm cryin[g].
DOCTOR:
I do.
Remember
this. Remember this, right now, all of it, because this is the day...
this is the day... This. Is. The. Day... Everything. Begins!
(The DOCTOR has walked away from CLARA, playfully swinging the umbrella, and begins to operate the controls.
Suddenly, the ICE LADY appears behind CLARA and grabs her, dragging her backwards out of the TARDIS.
CLARA drops the TARDIS key onto the floor of the TARDIS.)
DOCTOR (noticing, alarmed):
Clara!
Clara!
CLARA:
Get offa me!
DOCTOR:
Water vapour doesn't stop ice, I should have realised!
CLARA:
Get off!
DOCTOR:
Let her go! Let her go now!
(The DOCTOR wields his screwdriver at the ICE LADY as she drags CLARA back.)
CLARA:
Get off me!
DOCTOR:
No! Clara!
(CLARA looks afraid and the DOCTOR horrified as the ICE LADY reaches the edge of the cloud.)
DOCTOR:
Clara!
(The DOCTOR calls after CLARA in slow motion as she falls to the earth, striking a dramatic pose.)
[cut]
(In the room, JENNY hears a thud. Something has hit the ground outside.)
VASTRA:
What was that!
JENNY:
I[t]'s Clara!
(VASTRA
and JENNY look outside and notice than CLARA has landed, intact and not
obviously injured, outside in the snow. The ICE LADY appears to have
fragmented into the snow on the ground upon impact, but not in such a
way that the SNOWMEN who are standing less than two feet away from her
could recover any piece of her and short-circuit the plot.
VASTRA randomly has a life-signs detector, which beeps to inform her that there is no sign of life outside.)
LATIMER:
Dear god!
Oh, dear god!
(confused:) Where did she fall from?
LATIMER:
We have to get her inside! (He strides off.)
VASTRA:
Those things will kill you.
LATIMER (unswayed):
She's hurt!
VASTRA:
She's dead.
(LATIMER is hurt by the news.
The MAID has come to and is comforting the children.
They all hear the TARDIS materialising.)
LATIMER:
What is that?
(enraged that he does not understand:) What is happening?
(VASTRA notices that the DOCTOR is materialising the TARDIS around CLARA'S body.)
[cut]
(The TARDIS floor appears under CLARA.)
[cut]
(CLARA has been moved to rest atop a table in the room. STRAX is attending to her.)
LATIMER:
That... green woman said she was dead. How can she be alive now?
STRAX:
This technology has capacities and abilities beyond anything your puny human mind could possibly understand.
(kinder:) Try not to worry.
(VASTRA enters the TARDIS and finds the DOCTOR scanning each piece of the ice.)
VASTRA:
Isn't the creature still a danger. It could reform.
DOCTOR:
Nope. Not in here.
VASTRA:
Then you should be with Miss Clara.
DOCTOR:
She's going to be fine, I know she is. She has to be.
VASTRA:
Doctor, her injuries are severe.
That equipment will bring back anyone for a while, but long-term...
DOCTOR:
It was my fault. I am responsible for what happened to Clara. She was in *my* care.
VASTRA:
What is the point of blaming yourself?
DOCTOR:
None.
... because she's going to live.
(The
DOCTOR exits the TARDIS and sees CLARA, still breathing. He hands the
box which he had been collecting the ice into to JENNY, wrings his
hands, and approaches CLARA. He puts a hand on her forehead.
CLARA opens her eyes.
LATIMER is remarkably deferential.)
DOCTOR:
Hey... hello.
CLARA:
They all think I'm going to die, don't they?
DOCTOR:
But I know you're going to live.
CLARA:
How?
DOCTOR (retrieving the TARDIS key from his pocket):
I never know how... I just know who.
(He closes CLARA'S hand around the key and kisses it twice.)
CLARA:
The green lady... she said you were the saver of worlds once. Are you going to save this one?
DOCTOR:
If I do, will you come away with me?
CLARA (nodding):
Yes.
DOCTOR (smiling):
Well then.
(He kisses her on the forehead.) Merry Christmas.
(The DOCTOR stands, straightens his bowtie, and takes the box back from JENNY. He walks out of the room.)
[cut]
(We see over SIMEON'S shoulder as the DOCTOR opens the front door to greet him.)
DOCTOR (holding up the box, with a map on it, as more SNOWMEN rise behind SIMEON):
I have in my hand a piece of the ice lady.
Everything you need to know about how to make ice people.
Is that what you want?
(SIMEON steps forward to take the box.)
DOCTOR:
See you at the office!
(The DOCTOR pulls back inside and closes the door.)
[cut]
VASTRA (following the DOCTOR into the TARDIS):
So
then, Doctor, saving the world again? Might I ask why? Are you making a
bargain with the universe? You'll save the world to let her live?
DOCTOR:
Yes. And don't you think, after all this time, and everything I have ever done, that I am owed this *one*?
VASTRA:
I don't think the universe makes bargains.
DOCTOR (angrily):
It was my fault!
VASTRA:
Well then... better save the world.
(The DOCTOR pulls a lever and the TARDIS interior activates.
[cut]
SIMEON rides in his carriage back to the institute.)
SIMEON (striding down the hall and into the room):
You promised us something.
(The DOCTOR is seating in SIMEON'S chair, feet on the desk. VASTRA stands.)
SIMEON:
Have you brought it.
DOCTOR:
Big fella here's been [very] quiet while you've been out... which is only to be expected,
considering who he really is.
DOCTOR (picking up the box and carrying it over to the GLOBE):
You know what this is, big fella?
GLOBE:
I do not understand these markings.
DOCTOR:
A map of the London Underground 1967.
Key strategic weakness in metropolitan living if you ask me.
But then, I have never liked a tunnel.
GLOBE (as SIMEON removes his hat):
Enough of this. We are powerful, but on this planet, we are limited.
We need to learn to take human ... form ... governess is ...
(The GLOBE'S VOICE begins to change as the DOCTOR fiddles with his sonic screwdriver.)
GLOBE (with a CHILD'S VOICE):
... of humanity
VASTRA:
What's happening to its voice?
DOCTOR:
Just stripping away the disguise.
GLOBE (CHILD):
No! Stop! Stop that! Cease! I command you!
(SIMEON is sinking to his knees.)
VASTRA:
Sounds like a child!
DOCTOR:
Of course it sounds like a child, it is a child.
Simeon is a child. The snow has no voice without him.
GLOBE (CHILD):
Don't [you] listen to him! He's ruining everything!
DOCTOR:
How long has the Intelligence been talking to you?
SIMEON:
I was a little boy... he was my snowman. He spoke to me.
[flashback: the SNOWMAN says “They're silly.” to WALTER]
DOCTOR:
Snow doesn't talk, does it? It's just a mirror.
[flashback: WALTER: “I don't want to talk to them. They're silly.” SNOWMAN: “They're silly.”]
DOCTOR:
It just reflects back everything we think and feel and fear.
[flashback: WALTER: “I don't need anyone else.” SNOWMAN “Don't need anyone else.”]
DOCTOR:
You poured your darkest dreams into a snowman and look! Look what it became!
VASTRA:
I don't understand!
DOCTOR:
It's a parasite, feeding on the loneliness of a child and the sickness of an old man!
Carnivorous snow... meets Victorian values... and something terrible is born.
GLOBE (CHILD):
We can go on, and do everything we planned!
DOCTOR:
Oh, yes, and what a plan, a world full of living ice people... oh, dear me, how very Victorian of you.
SIMEON (rising):
What's wrong with Victorian values?
(SIMEON
snatches the box and moves to open it. VASTRA rushes over and moves to
draw her sword. The DOCTOR stops both from taking action with a raised
finger and “ah-ah-ah”.)
DOCTOR (to SIMEON):
Are you sure?
SIMEON (coldly):
I have always been sure.
(SIMEON opens the box and grasps what is inside: the MEMORY WORM.)
DOCTOR:
Good.
(The DOCTOR looks on as SIMEON collapses, the worm biting his hand. VASTRA, who was about to draw her sword, relaxes.)
DOCTOR:
I'm glad you think so,
since your entire adult life is about to be erased, no parasite without a host,
without you it will have no voice, without the governess it will have no form.
GLOBE (its strong voice returning only to break down to a child's):
What... what... what's happening? What's happening? What did you do?
DOCTOR:
You've got nothing left to mirror anymore.
Goodbye!
GLOBE (reduced to a child's voice):
What did you?
GLOBE (resuming its strong voice):
Did you really think it would be so easy?
DOCTOR (confused):
That's not possible. (VASTRA shifts, agitated.) How is that possible?
VASTRA (noticing something out the window):
Doctor!
(The DOCTOR runs to the window. It is snowing outside.)
[cut]
(At the house, the snowmen rise and growl.)
MAID (or JENNY?):
They're growing. The snowmen are growing.
LATIMER:
[What do we do?]
[cut]
(In the institute, the DOCTOR and VASTA look at the GLOBE.)
DOCTOR:
But you were just doctor Simeon, you were not real... he dreamed you. How can you still exist?
GLOBE:
Now
the dream outlives the dreamer and can never die. Once, I was the
puppet... (SIMEON rises rapidly and speaks with the GLOBE'S voice) now I
pull the strings! (SIMEON staggers forward, arms out, zombie-like.) I
tried so long to take on human form. By erasing Simeon, you made space
for me. I fill him now...
(Alarmed, VASTRA draws her sword, but SIMEON punches her before she can attack. SIMEON wrestles the DOCTOR to the ground.)
GLOBE-SIMEON:
More than snow, more than Simeon,
even this old body
is strong in my control.
(SIMEON moves his hand onto the DOCTOR'S face.)
Do you feel it?
(A purple vapor escapes from the DOCTOR'S mouth.)
Winter is coming!
(The DOCTOR'S face begins to freeze over.)
Winter ... is ... coming!
[cut]
(In the house, STRAX attends to CLARA.)
STRAX:
No, you might fight! Hang on and fight, boy, you can do it!
CLARA (as LATIMER approaches her bed):
Captain Latimer?
Your children... they're afraid.
Hold them.
LATIMER:
It's not... really my area.
CLARA:
It is now.
(CLARA sheds a tear.)
(Outside, lightning flashes. The snow turns to rain.)
[cut]
(In the institute, the snow in the ball explodes into water. SIMEON collapses backwards.)
SIMEON:
What's happening?
VASTRA:
Doctor! The globe! It's turning to rain! all of it, the snow, look!
(As the DOCTOR looks on, SIMEON'S hands lose their icy coating, but keep the pallor of death, as he expires.)
VASTRA:
He's dead.
What happened?
DOCTOR (concerned):
The snow mirrors... that's all it does...
It's
mirroring something else now, something so strong, it's drowning
everything else... (He looks alarmed, almost afraid. He runs to the
window, flings it open, and catches some raindrops on his hand.)
DOCTOR:
There was a critical mass of snow at the house. If something happened there... (He licks his palm.)
(VASTRA extends her hand and catches a few drops as well, and tastes them.)
VASTRA:
It's salty! Salt-water rain.
DOCTOR:
It's not rain! It's crying...
[cut]
(In the house, the tear rolls down CLARA'S cheek.)
DOCTOR (unseen, still at the institute, speaking to VASTRA):
The only force enough it could drown the snow... a whole family crying on Christmas eve.
(The drop of snow hits the pillow behind CLARA'S head.)
[cut]
(The DOCTOR runs back to the TARDIS.)
[cut]
(Outside the house, the snowmen melt.)
(Inside
the house, the DOCTOR steps out of the TARDIS and into the room. STRAX
stands between him and CLARA, who is lying on a table. JENNY and the
MAID look on.)
STRAX:
I'm sorry. There was nothing to be done.
She has moments only.
(The CHILDREN are crying as LATIMER holds them.)
DOCTOR (kneeling at the table):
You saved the world, Clara, you and me. We really, really did.
CLARA:
Are you going back to your cloud?
DOCTOR (shaking his head):
No more cloud. Not now.
CLARA:
Why not?
DOCTOR:
It rained.
CLARA (dying):
Run...
Run, you clever boy,
(CLARA opens her eyes to look at him)
and remember.
(The DOCTOR looks up in recognition. A bell tolls.)
MAID:
It's Christmas. Christmas Day.
(The camera fades from a shot of CLARA'S face to black.)
[cut]
(In a cemetery, LATIMER and the CHILDREN stand by a fresh grave.)
VASTRA (seen only as an outline in the foreground, as the camera pulls back):
And what about the intelligence? Melted with the snow?
DOCTOR:
No, I shouldn't think so.
(The camera shifts angles and we see that the DOCTOR is standing between JENNY and VASTRA, holding flowers.)
DOCTOR:
It learned to survive beyond physical form.
JENNY:
Well, we can't be in much danger from a disembodied intelligence that thinks it can invade the world with snowmen.
VASTRA:
Or that the London Underground is a key strategic weakness.
(The DOCTOR removes the GI business card from his pocket and examines it.)
DOCTOR:
The Great Intelligence... rings a bell. Great intelligence...
(*NOTE: the Second Doctor encountered the Great Intelligence in The Abominable Snowmen and The Web of Fear.)
(LATIMER and the CHILDREN walk off.)
JENNY (looking at the DOCTOR with concern as he approaches the grave):
Doctor!
DOCTOR (looking at the tombstone and then back at VASTRA and JENNY):
I never knew her name, her full name...
(We see the name on the stone: Clara - Oswin - Oswald.
We hear OSWIN'S voice in the DOCTOR'S memory: “Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager, Starship Alaska”.)
DOCTOR:
Soufflé girl.
(We
see OSWIN'S face—CLARA'S—beaming as the oven chimes that a soufflé is
done, and then falling as she sees the soufflé is burnt.)
DOCTOR:
Oswin.
(shaking his head, confused) It was her...
(We see OSWIN in the crashed ship's cockpit she kept in her mind: “Run, you clever boy.”
We see CLARA, from a different angle than we did when she died, lying on the bed: “Run, you clever boy.”
We see OSWIN look to the camera: “and remember.”
We see CLARA open her eyes and look at the DOCTOR: “and remember.”)
DOCTOR:
It was soufflé girl *again*. (He rises and turns to VASTRA and JENNY.)
I never saw her face the first time, with the Daleks, but her voice, it was the same voice—
JENNY:
Doctor—
DOCTOR:
—the same woman! And she died, both times!
(He cups his hands in the air around the side of his head, as if his head is about to explode from the confusion.)
VASTRA:
Doctor—
DOCTOR:
—The same woman!
VASTRA:
—please, what are you talking about?
DOCTOR:
Something's
going on. Something impossible. Something... (He looks excited, and
rubs his hands together, then makes a decision. He begins to back away,
and points to VASTRA and JENNY.) Right, you two, stay, stay right here,
don't move an inch!
VASTRA:
Are you coming back?
DOCTOR:
Shouldn't think so.
VASTRA (as the DOCTOR runs off):
But where are you going?
DOCTOR (turning back to her):
To find her! To find Clara! (He laughs as he runs off.)
JENNY (to VASTRA):
But Clara's dead! What's he talking about? Finding her?
VASTRA:
I don't know... but perhaps the universe makes bargains after all.
(We
see the tombstone, fresh... then it ages, and we sense that we are in a
different time. The camera pulls back, and the episode's TOKEN BLACK
CHARACTER addresses a YOUNG WHITE WOMAN who is standing by the
tombstone.)
TOKEN BLACK CHARACTER:
Where are you going?
YOUNG WHITE WOMAN:
Shortcut!
TOKEN BLACK CHARACTER:
Through there? I hate this place, don't you think it's creepy?
YOUNG WHITE WOMAN, turning around, with OSWIN'S/CLARA'S face:
Nah. I don't believe in ghosts.
[cut]
(The DOCTOR runs through a corridor of the newly designed TARDIS, into the console chamber. He pulls a lever with a clang.)
DOCTOR:
Clara! Oswin! Oswald!
(He sees her face in the TARDIS control viewscreen. He looks at the camera:)
DOCTOR:
Watch me run!
Keywords: S7E6 S7E06 7.6 7x6 7.06 7x06. Doctor Who Series 7 Episode 6 transcript. The Snowmen transcript, The Snowmen script, The Snowmen closed captioning, quotations, dialogue, Doctor Who transcript. Eleventh Doctor, Clara Oswin Oswald, Clara Oswald, Dr Simeon, Doctor Simeon, Vastra, Madame Vastra, Jenny, Jenny Flint, Strax, Captain Latimer. Digby, Francesca, Frannie, The Intelligence, The Great Intelligence, Token Black Character; Matt Smith, Jenna-Louise Coleman, Richard E. Grant, Neve McIntosh, Catrin Stewart, Dan Starkey, Tom Ward, Joseph Darcey-Alden, Ellie Darcey-Alden, Ian McKellen, Sophie Miller-Sheen. Steven Moffat.
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